No one ever said dating was easy. First dates are awkward, second dates are expectant and the dates that follow that -- during which two people really start getting down to the business of getting to know each other -- present hundreds, if not thousands, of opportunities for missteps, faux pas, blunders and mistakes. That is to say nothing of the myriad chances for problems to which you could fall prey while arranging, planning and preparing for dates.

We call too often or not enough, we're too available or never around, we wear sandals to fancy restaurants, laugh hysterically at bad jokes, show up with blue carnations, gab on our cell phones during dinner and commit countless other dating crimes, mostly without realizing we’re doing it. No doubt about it -- bad dating behavior is a rampant affliction, and it's time to cure it with some common sense advice.

If dating is a game, then just like any other game, there are rules you need to study, learn and follow. After all, you wouldn't take the field without knowing where the base lines are, would you? (For those of you who are immune to ball field metaphors, the answer is "no.") While none of these do's and don'ts are set in stone -- and, as your mother told you, there are obviously exceptions to every rule -- here we attempt to equip you with an idiot-proof playbook for the fast-paced, intense, exciting, full-contact sport of searching for someone with whom to fall in love.  

Dating Rules -- Do's

1. Do try to always look your best and be punctual. Showing up late or looking messy gives the impression that you don't care -- and, if that's the case, why go out with this person in the first place?

2. Do try to enjoy yourself on dates. Yes, finding your soul mate is serious business, and it can sometimes even be a scary endeavor, but keep in mind that this is supposed to be fun.

3. Do compliment your date on how he or she looks. Men and women tend to put a lot of effort into getting ready for a date, and it's nice (and flattering) to hear that all that energy paid off.

4. Do be interested and interesting. Ask questions, share insights and pay attention when your date is telling you what they like to do, read, watch, listen to, etc.

5. Do tell someone directly if you're not interested in seeing them again. Lying and stringing people along simply because you're too scared to tell them the truth is selfish and hurtful. If you don't want to go on another date with someone, let them down as gently -- but firmly -- as possible.

6. Do date only people you're attracted to, no matter what your friends say. Approval by your peers doesn't prove a thing.

7. Do stay positive, even when dates don't end well. It is most certainly true that you will date a few frogs before you find a prince. Along the way, you will probably meet some pretty nice people.

8. Do plan ahead. Dating is a creative diversion that requires concentration and energy, so make arrangements ahead of time and let your date know you put some thought into the evening.

9. Do be proactive about finding people to date. The man or woman you've been searching for your whole life is probably not going to come ring your doorbell and beg you to go to dinner anytime soon. Dating requires action, so get out there and meet as many people as you can.

10. Do surround yourself with positive, like-minded people who are dating, too. Part of the fun of dating is celebrating, comparing notes and commiserating with your friends. Surround yourself with positive people who are rooting for you to succeed at love and will be there for you if/when you need emotional support.

Dating Rules -- Don'ts

1. Don't call, text message or email someone you've just started seeing more than once a day unless they reply (or in the event of an emergency). Desperation and instability are major turnoffs.

2. Don't date the kind of people who've hurt you in the past. Many of us are attracted to people who are bad for us, but it's important to break these patterns and seek out healthy relationships with matches who won't demean you or make you feel bad about yourself in any way.

3. Don't be late for a date. It's just rude. If you have to change your plans, give the other person as much notice and consideration as possible. And always apologize.

4. Don't lie to your date or about any aspect of your life, even if the truth isn't as sexy or you're worried they won't like it. It would be awful to ruin a potentially life-changing relationship with your perfect match because of some silly lie you told early on to impress him or her.

5. Don't be too available. We don't mean you should play games, but if you're free every night, you're probably not taking care of yourself, pursuing your own interests and spending time with your friends -- which means you're probably not very interesting to talk to. People with full, exciting lives make the best dates.

6. Don't give away too much about yourself at the beginning. Revealing your innermost secrets on the second date can lead to rejection. Don't be scared to open up, but remember that getting to know someone takes time, and you should let your relationship evolve.

7. Don't check out other people when you're on a date. Ever. This is just tacky. You may think you are subtle, but while you're scoping the cutie in the corner, your date will be heading for the door. Extend your partner the courtesy of concentrating solely on them while you're with them.

8. Don't be rude or get drunk on a date. Courtesy and manners will get you everywhere.

9. Don't ignore your personal safety. Carry your cell phone and keep it charged -- and make sure to tell your friends where you're going and when you'll be back. First dates should take place in well-lit public places. Don't ever let yourself be coerced into going anywhere or doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.

10. Don't give out personal information like your home phone number or address on the first date. Keep these details to yourself until you trust the person you're dating.

11. Don't have sex on a first date. If you like someone and are interested in
No one ever said dating was easy. First dates are awkward, second dates are expectant and the dates that follow that -- during which two people really start getting down to the business of getting to know each other -- present hundreds, if not thousands, of opportunities for missteps, faux pas, blunders and mistakes. That is to say nothing of the myriad chances for problems to which you could fall prey while arranging, planning and preparing for dates.

We call too often or not enough, we're too available or never around, we wear sandals to fancy restaurants, laugh hysterically at bad jokes, show up with blue carnations, gab on our cell phones during dinner and commit countless other dating crimes, mostly without realizing we’re doing it. No doubt about it -- bad dating behavior is a rampant affliction, and it's time to cure it with some common sense advice.

If dating is a game, then just like any other game, there are rules you need to study, learn and follow. After all, you wouldn't take the field without knowing where the base lines are, would you? (For those of you who are immune to ball field metaphors, the answer is "no.") While none of these do's and don'ts are set in stone -- and, as your mother told you, there are obviously exceptions to every rule -- here we attempt to equip you with an idiot-proof playbook for the fast-paced, intense, exciting, full-contact sport of searching for someone with whom to fall in love. 

Dating Rules -- Do's

1. Do try to always look your best and be punctual. Showing up late or looking messy gives the impression that you don't care -- and, if that's the case, why go out with this person in the first place?

2. Do try to enjoy yourself on dates. Yes, finding your soul mate is serious business, and it can sometimes even be a scary endeavor, but keep in mind that this is supposed to be fun.

3. Do compliment your date on how he or she looks. Men and women tend to put a lot of effort into getting ready for a date, and it's nice (and flattering) to hear that all that energy paid off.

4. Do be interested and interesting. Ask questions, share insights and pay attention when your date is telling you what they like to do, read, watch, listen to, etc.

5. Do tell someone directly if you're not interested in seeing them again. Lying and stringing people along simply because you're too scared to tell them the truth is selfish and hurtful. If you don't want to go on another date with someone, let them down as gently -- but firmly -- as possible.

6. Do date only people you're attracted to, no matter what your friends say. Approval by your peers doesn't prove a thing.

7. Do stay positive, even when dates don't end well. It is most certainly true that you will date a few frogs before you find a prince. Along the way, you will probably meet some pretty nice people.

8. Do plan ahead. Dating is a creative diversion that requires concentration and energy, so make arrangements ahead of time and let your date know you put some thought into the evening.

9. Do be proactive about finding people to date. The man or woman you've been searching for your whole life is probably not going to come ring your doorbell and beg you to go to dinner anytime soon. Dating requires action, so get out there and meet as many people as you can.

10. Do surround yourself with positive, like-minded people who are dating, too. Part of the fun of dating is celebrating, comparing notes and commiserating with your friends. Surround yourself with positive people who are rooting for you to succeed at love and will be there for you if/when you need emotional support.

Dating Rules -- Don'ts

1. Don't call, text message or email someone you've just started seeing more than once a day unless they reply (or in the event of an emergency). Desperation and instability are major turnoffs.

2. Don't date the kind of people who've hurt you in the past. Many of us are attracted to people who are bad for us, but it's important to break these patterns and seek out healthy relationships with matches who won't demean you or make you feel bad about yourself in any way.

3. Don't be late for a date. It's just rude. If you have to change your plans, give the other person as much notice and consideration as possible. And always apologize.

4. Don't lie to your date or about any aspect of your life, even if the truth isn't as sexy or you're worried they won't like it. It would be awful to ruin a potentially life-changing relationship with your perfect match because of some silly lie you told early on to impress him or her.

5. Don't be too available. We don't mean you should play games, but if you're free every night, you're probably not taking care of yourself, pursuing your own interests and spending time with your friends -- which means you're probably not very interesting to talk to. People with full, exciting lives make the best dates.

6. Don't give away too much about yourself at the beginning. Revealing your innermost secrets on the second date can lead to rejection. Don't be scared to open up, but remember that getting to know someone takes time, and you should let your relationship evolve.

7. Don't check out other people when you're on a date. Ever. This is just tacky. You may think you are subtle, but while you're scoping the cutie in the corner, your date will be heading for the door. Extend your partner the courtesy of concentrating solely on them while you're with them.

8. Don't be rude or get drunk on a date. Courtesy and manners will get you everywhere.

9. Don't ignore your personal safety. Carry your cell phone and keep it charged -- and make sure to tell your friends where you're going and when you'll be back. First dates should take place in well-lit public places. Don't ever let yourself be coerced into going anywhere or doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.

10. Don't give out personal information like your home phone number or address on the first date. Keep these details to yourself until you trust the person you're dating.

11. Don't have sex on a first date. If you like someone and are interested in getting to know them better (and possibly having a relationship), sex on a first date will likely ruin everything. It's much too soon, it's not romantic and it communicates to the other person that you're more interested in their physical characteristics than in finding out who they are.

12. Never date a married person. Statistically, it is very unlikely that they will ever leave their husband or wife for you. Dating someone who's married is the best way to serve yourself a heaping helping of misery, lies, deceit, sadness and heartache. If you are married, separate before dating. If you're single, don't be a shoulder to cry on -- you deserve better. Go out and find someone who's emotionally (and legally) available to you!getting to know them better (and possibly having a relationship), sex on a first date will likely ruin everything. It's much too soon, it's not romantic and it communicates to the other person that you're more interested in their physical characteristics than in finding out who they are.

13. Never date a married person. Statistically, it is very unlikely that they will ever leave their husband or wife for you. Dating someone who's married is the best way to serve yourself a heaping helping of misery, lies, deceit, sadness and heartache. If you are married, separate before dating. If you're single, don't be a shoulder to cry on -- you deserve better. Go out and find someone who's emotionally (and legally) available to you!

(- this article is for my housemate Ryan - congratz with your GF.. hehe)

A line in one of the love song entitled reality by Richard Sanderson. "Meet you by surprise, didn't realize, that I my life will change, forever... Dreams are my reality, the only real; kind of real fantasy..." A love song by dreamer's who is in love and dreamer's who is just dreaming of the past. Reality bites! It may be the sweetest HELLO, or the saddest GOODBYE.

If you are on this type of setting, how do you answer these question:

1. How can I say goodbye when I don't want to?

2. What if I love someone, and we are no longer together but he/she is moving away?

3. Can you please explain why some people keep returning to each other after repeated break-ups?

4. How do I stop thinking about the past and hoping for the future?

5. What do I do with all of the love I still feel for that person?

Questions that need a quick answer for someone who is in seek of peace of mind.

The Answers:

How can I say goodbye when I don't want to?

When a circumstance happens that your personality might not like you, it is imperative that you stop fighting what the universe is showing you, and start to look for the blessing in disguise, as well as the higher reason behind it.

When you truly learn to go with the flow, in the moment, you will gain a great deal of trust. What you will ultimately trust is that it is happening for your highest good and for the highest good of the the other person. You might not see the higher reason at the current time, but you definitely will in hindsight.

You do not own another person. He or she can do whatever he wants to do. How could you not say goodbye if that is being asked of you? This is the root of desirous attachment. Your desires might be too attached to the other perfson in a way that is not healthy. The only way to release this, as with anything else, is with tremendous love and compasion for you and for the other person.

Look at what good can possibly come out of the situation. Look for what might very well be for each of your highest good. Replace "want" with "prefer" to trust that there are higher reasons behind this situation and what you "want" might not be possible at this time. It might be possible in the future, or never. Release that grip with a flow of unconditional love. This will serve each of you far better than holding on for dear life. As a matter of fact, a "dear life" is what you ultimately "want" both for you and the other person. Allow it to be what is is. As soon as you begin o "allow" then you will begin to feel the inner peace, and the pain will vanish.

What if I love someone, and we are no longer together but he/she is moving away?

The greatest thing you can do is go into your deepest heart, that place where pure unconditional love resides, and wish that person the greatest life that any human being can possibly have. If you are able, you can let the person know that you love him/her, and that he or she can always call you if they ever want to. Then, with pure, transparent love, view the other person the way you would view a butterfly, and allow him or her to fly away freely, while you simultaneously send him or her your love and purest good wishes. Sometimes people need to move away to have a fresh start.

Sometimes they need to separate from the past so they can grow, heal, transform and bloom into their highest expression of self in this lifetime. Sometimes they need to re-create an entire new life. If you truly and genuinely love this person, you have to realize that it requires a great amount of self love to be able to allow another to go away so that you do not feel tortured inside, but that you feel love and inner peace. Begin to view your love as the gift that it is, and view yourself with tremendous pure love, without condition. This means that there is no condition that validates how lovable or worthy you are. And, this includes whether or not a person is in your life.

It is vital that you realize that you are not saying goodbye to the love you feel, you are merely saying goodbye to the old circumstances. If you have not been together, chances are great that each of you needed to grow and perhaps could not do this while remaining physically together. View this new circumstance as a positive experience for greater self love, for each of you! See the good in it. It is there, and if you look for it, you will find it! Under all circumstances, find the love in the situation, and how this is serving as a positive catalyst in each of your lives. This will bring you into a great deal of trust, and the pain will be replaced by unconditionally loving acceptance. This in turn leads to a great deal of inner peace.

Can you please explain why some people keep returning to each other after repeated break-ups?

There is only one thing in this universe can never be destroyed and this is pure love. When two people deeply love each other and have repeated break-ups this is a clear indication that each person has growing to do, or they, just like everyone else on earth, would not be in this life to begin with. When two people are together and they trigger each of their deepest growth issues, deep rooted feelings will naturally come to the surface. Then the ego takes its typical "fight or flight" position.

Some people break up when what they are feeling is triggering so much inside, that they just want to get away. In this case, the ego has won its temporary battle. However, as time passes, and each person has solitude to so some deep soul searching, they discover that they did, in fact, have some growing to do on the personal level. They even realize that the other person was a wonderful catalyst for this growth. The love comes back to the surface, and they somehow get back in touch with each other because the love truly never died! Some people call this a "love/hate, can't live with him/her, can live without him/her" relationship. Personally, I do not agree with this view, as it is giving a surface excuse that labels something far deeper and wiser. I would call it profound love, growth and realization that has phases of togetherness and separation when needed for the growth of each person. Relationships that are this deep have clearly come into our lives for higher reasons, and they are all related to growth. First for self, possibly to learn how to be authentic in a relationship, and ultimately it serves a positive purpose for many others. If you find that you have been apart many times, and have returned to each other many times, I would venture to say that you have each grown tremendously as a result. Would you agree with this view? This is "why". It is all for growth.

The other reason "why" is because pure love never dies, ever. So when you are together love and treasure every moment. When you are apart, love yourself while you bring your greatest contributions into this world. Under all circumstances give yourself and the other person pure, transparent love, while you trust that everything really is in divine order, and working out for each of your highest good.

How do I stop thinking about the past and hoping for the future?

Your mind is going to have thoughts and memories about the past. You might hear a song that brings back certain memories. You might come across something or some place that reminds you of the person you love. There are two key components to this. The first one is allowing the thoughts to come to the surface instead of trying to get rid of them and block them out. They might trigger a lot of feelings and it is important that you acknowledge their existence. You can realize and learn a lot from what is coming into your mind from the past. You can grow and learn from these past memories.

You can see how much you have already grown, and you can cherish the times you had in the past for all of the good it did bring into your life, even if some of those times were difficult. In this case, allow, acknowledge and come into your truth about what your thoughts and feelings are trying to get you to see, feel and recognize. You can have wonderful realizations if you take this approach and it is entirely empowering! The second disempowering aspect of thinking about the past is dwelling in it and wishing it were the same. This takes you out of the now moment, when your creativity, and creatively thinking by looking for a higher reason as to why you are feeling this way will serve you so much better. You cannot re-do the past. It is behind you. You can only go forward from this point one moment at a time. So if a past memory comes up, allow it to! What is it trying to tell you? How do you really feel about it? Come into your truth. Then, go with what you are getting.

If the person you love contacts you, be REAL! If the person you love never contacts you again, trust and accept what is, and with a great amount of loving compassion for yourself, focus on what you can experience or create in this now moment. The only time it will serve you to think about the past is when you truly want to learn and grow from your past experiences. Trying to bring back the past is like trying to bring back a breeze that passed by. But, you can always have a new breeze come your way. It could be the same person, or a new person. It could be many experiences you came into this life to express. The greatest thing you can do with your memories of the past is give them a lot of love, because they did serve you well, especially if they were difficult. If you are dwelling in a negative manner, then this is hindering your growth. Ask yourself what you have learned, and what means the most to you.

Above all, trust that you would not be where you are today if those experiences were not in your life, and you are not meant to keep re-living the events of your past. You are here to create new, positive and life enriching ones. Can they be with the same person? That is up to each person's free will and choice. You can trust one thing, however, and that is that if it is meant to be for your highest good, it will be, no matter which way it turns out. In a nutshell, view the past with love and appreciation. Then you can take all of the growth you have made and create, live, be and express so much more. Hoping for the future is a complete waste of time. Why? Because it is detracting from this now moment when all creation exists! Pull yourself into NOW, and you will feel guided from within. Life will begin to flow smoothly, effortlessly, and everything will fall into place for your highest good. If you could only realize how profound this now moment is, when events happen that you would call a miracle, you will cease to live projecting into the future, and you will create everything from your heart NOW. There is nothing more pure and positive, and it all comes from your heart.

TRUST that everything is unfolding according to your highest good. As you begin to get centered in this now moment, go with what your inner guidance and gut feelings are telling you! ALWAYS follow your inner guidance. THAT is what will create your "future" and it will result in the greatest life you could possibly have.

What do I do with all of the love I still feel for that person?

Allow it to be there. If you try to fight the love, try to get rid of it, and try to avoid it, I can pretty much guarantee that it is like trying to fight, get rid of and avoid the fact that sunlight exists. If you feel love, then honor and acknowledge those feelings! They are letting you know your truth. Just by doing that alone will simultaneously bring you into your truth, and will stop the internal battle of your ego and your heart. What is so terrible about feeling love? Only what you believe can harm you, and those beliefs must be uprooted so you can at least feel your truth.

Then, look at what is happening now. If you can, or wish to get in touch with the person you love, do so! If you know or have been asked to leave that person alone, then honor and respect what he or she asked of you. This must be done with purity of motive, with love and respect for yourself and for the other person. If you are not able to be in contact with that person, simply feel your feelings, and create the best that you can out of them! The key here is to realize that it is okay to feel love for someone, however, it must be a "transparent" love with purity and zero "tactics" run by ego to push anything based on an agenda, an ego agenda. This "agenda' includes denial of your feelings. That is EGO in its prime. Alternatively, you can write a book, a song or create something positive for others. Most importantly, you can love yourself for having the capacity to love! This is a GIFT in life, and it is one of the greatest gifts you can ever feel and express in any positive manner. When you think of that special person, in your mind, wish him or her pure love, freely.

When you are giving that from your heart, the other person will feel it. As long as it is pure, meaning that you truly wish the best for that person, you will then be able to bring out the best you have within you. This can also help many other people who are feeling the same way. How do I know this? You might wonder, so I will give you the answer. I recently experienced all of this, and the pure love remains beneath it all. I now trust that there really IS a higher reason for everything that happens. I now know that there is perfect orchestration in this universe and everything is unfolding for the highest good of all, every step of the way.

As I trust I learned to stop fighting it all, because there are precious gifts within every circumstance - I had to first learn to look for them, instead of what my ego used to either be attached to or avoid. I know that pure love never dies, and I had to stop trying to get rid of it. I had to ALLOW it and create the best that I can from it. At the same time, from the most pure place within, I do wish that very special person the greatest life any human being can ever have. I also wish this for you! A quote that I've read that encourage me to post this topic.

" There are times in your life when you have to say goodbye to your near and dear ones. Be it willingly or unwillingly, saying goodbye is one of the difficult things in life."

" Do not cry because it's over, smile because it happenned..." " Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love. " " A goodbye isn't painful unless you're never going to say hello again..."

(To Gladys and Rose, you we're smiling when you met them, as per Micel: "Just continue to keep on smiling --- because that's the spirit!" --- if you said goodbye, make sure that you will not say hello again...)

What is the elusive thing called "LOVE" that everyone so desperately needs? Sometimes, we sort of like this girl because she is 'beautiful'? Or the girl likes him because he is 'handsome'? But this kind of "Cinderella Syndrome" when the girl is waiting on her Prince Charming is not real love. It is better know as "INFATUATION", and there is a vast difference between it and real love.

The discussion below tackled the vast difference between LOVE and INFATUATION:

Love vs. Infatuation

First, let's define Infatuation! What is infatuation? As per definition, infatuation is a feeling; Real love involves a commitment also. Infatuation is just 'love of emotion;. Only the emotions are affected in infatuation, but in real love both the Emotions and Will are involved. Next, a person "fall into" infatuation, but "Grows into" real love. Let's site an example, have you ever seen a girl who was so beautiful that you thought you'd faint? This is infatuation! It is based totally on physical attraction; often you don't know much in-depth about the person you so-called love. Thus, infatuation is mostly biological!

Also remember; for guys, never tell a woman you love her, unless you are willing to marry her. Then, infatuation is basically selfish where real love is basically selfless. Infatuation is more interested in satisfying yourself and your "feelings" than it is in the other person.

Real love is primarily interested in the other person. It seeks to give instead of get. Love unselfishly seeks the highest good for the other person.

Lastly, infatuation weakened by time and separation where real love is strengthened by time and separation. This does not mean that there will be no pain in separation. On the contrary, there is great pain in separation if you are truly in love.

Now, on the other part let us define what is LOVE?

Understanding what really is infatuation, now lets discuss the true meaning of LOVE.

If you read the Bible, it gives you the correct definitition of love. A compilation of all that you can think of or define of this word LOVE.

1. Love is PATIENT

The word translated "patient" means to wait patiently for the fulfillment of expectations. Just like if a guy is having difficulty dating a girl and the girl does not want to come out of her shell, if the guy trully love her, he will not complain or blame her, you must look at the situation from the girl's point of view. Maybe she is having problems which prevented her from coming out. The guy must react to it with patience and understanding. Have you ever met someone you liked so much that you wanted to push the relationship and make it progress faster? Sure you have! Love, however is willing to give the relationship time to grow at a natural pace. It does not push but it is willing to wait for the relationship to grow at a rate that is satisfactory to both parties.

2. Love is KIND

Love seeks to encourage and build up on others. It respects the feelings and emotions of others. It finds its greatest satisfaction in making others happy, such that: Compliment one another, magnify the other's strength, listen to one another. Pay close atterntion to what each of you has to say and make each other feel that what each says is important, etc.

3. Love is not JEALOUS

Jealousy usually indicates an insecure and immature heart. Love wants the best for others, but jealousy is possessive. Jealous is possessive. Jealous is reflected in the childish statement: "if he/she is going to talk to him/her, t hen he can just forget about me!" Often, one person wants to totally possess the other and to restrict her relationships with others.

4. Love is NOT BRAG Love is not a windbag and is not anxious to impress. Often, a guy will brag to a girl, trying to impress her so that she will like him. A truly great person, however, does not need to exalt himself. Othes will exalt him. 5. Love is NOT ARROGANT Love is not conceited, boastful, cocky or stuck up. Love, instead is humble and has a servant attitude. His demeanor implies: " You ought to be thankful that somebody is neat as me is dating you." Of course this is not love.

6. Love ALWAYS COVERS

This word cover means to pass over in silence, to keep confidential. Love is patient with faults of others. It doesn't criticize or broadcast to the world the faults of others. Love is present even when it knows the other is not perfect.

7. Love alwats PERSEVERSE Love always stands its ground and holds out. It will outlast anything. It will even love on the face of unreturned love. Real love will last through all sorts of trials, tribulations and stresses.

8. Love is NOT PROVOKED

This means that love has a long fuse. It does not become irritated and angry. It is not easily offended. Love does not seek its own. This is the heart of love. Love is other-centered not self-centered. Love says: "I love you, I want to give you." Sefishness says: "I love you, I want you."

9. Love does NOT ACT UNBECOMINGLY This means that love does not behave disgracefully, dishonorably, indecently. It does not embarrass others by its actions. It is characterized by tact and sensitivity. This also means that love should have good manners. Be sure to do little things like opening doors for your girl or offering her your arm when you walk together.

10. Love is FORGIVING

Lastly, this is a must for a succesful love story. If a guy is not willing to forgive and forger when his girlfriend is only an hour late, he is not exhibiting love. Love does't hold grudges when it hasd been wronged. It doen't remain resentful.

From the above definitions and arguments about love and infatuation. There is a great difference between the two. And using these definitions, you can certainly know that what you feel is LOVE or its just an INFATUATION.

(this article is for all the boys and girls who is inlove right there, may it be INFATUATION or REAL LOVE!)

Missing someone

Missing someone gets easier everyday because, even though it is one day further from the last time you saw each other it is one day closer to the next time you will.

Have you ever been away from your loved ones? Being away from the people you love is one of the most difficult things in life, be it your parents, your siblings, friends or your spouse… Although missing someone is painful, it also brings a sense of warmth and love, when you realize you have something worth missing.

Even though we all know it is tough to be apart from the people we love, we often find solace in the fact that some one else is going through the exact same thing… If you are missing someone real hard right now, just give him or her a call or send an email to convey your feelings. After all not everyone is lucky enough to have such precious people in their lives. Keep smiling and stay positive no matter how tough things seem right now.

To know when ur Missing Someone...

Have you ever missed someone and felt terrible because you think that he/she doesn't miss you? Missing someone is a terrible but at the same time, sweet feeling.

You will be sitting around wondering if you meant anything to him/her. Thinking if he/she ever cares about you. Rushing to the phone once it rings hoping that it's him/her. Looking out of the window hoping that he/she will surprise you by appearing downstairs. Sitting in front of the television but thinking of him, missing the final episode of your favourite show. Laying on your bed, thinking of the last time u were out together. Thinking of how nice it will be to sit under the stars again, talking about everything, your dreams, plans, future. Logging on to the internet hoping to see him/her online. When you realise that he/she isn't online and did not return your page, you will start worrying if he/she is okay.

Missing someone is a way of growing up I guess. It exposes you to loneliness. It teaches you how to cope with being lonely and let you know that there is actually a feeling known as emptiness. Sometimes it feels good to miss someone. You know that you really care and you indulge in the feeling of loving/caring for him/her. But missing someone and not knowing if he/she is feeling the same is terrible. You feel as if you are being left alone. So if you miss someone, tell him/her and let them know. At the same time, ask if they miss you. If you are the one being missed and you know it, let the other party know. If you miss him/her too, tell them!


(this article is for my another Board mate named Princess Kim, because she missed someone.)

Coping up: or in common terms, "Moving On"

It is never is easy to stand back again in two feet after a hard fall. Why do breakups hurt so much, even when the relationship is no longer good? Is it painful because it represent the loss, not just of the relationship, but also of shared dreams and commitments. The broken promises and lost of trust. When a relationship fail, we experience profound disappointment, stress, and grief.

A breakup may also launch this situation which is what we call uncharted territory. Everything is disrupted: your routine, responsibilities, your home, your relationships with the extended families and friends, and even our identity. A breakup brings uncertainty about the future. What will life be without a partner? Will you find someone else? Will you end up along? These are just the unknowns oftens seem worse than an unhappy relationship. Recovering from a breakup or divorces is difficult - completely difficult! However, it's important to know (and keep reminding of yourself) that you can and will move on. But healing takes time, just like a wounds that need to be taken care of, so be patient for yourself.

The following steps may help in coping up with a breakup or a destroyed relationship:

• Recognize that it's OK to have a different feelings It's normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused - and these feelings can be intense.

You may also fell anxious about the future. Accept that reactions like these will lessen over TIME. Even if the relationship was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frieghtening.

• Give yourself a break. Give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time.

You may not be able to be quite as productive on the job or care for others in exactly the way you're accustomed to for a little while. No one is superman or wonderwowan; Take time to heal, regroup and re-energize.

• Don't go through this alone. Sharing your feelings with friends and family can help you get through this period.

Consider joining a support group where you can talk to others in similar situations. Isolating relationships and overall health. Don't be afraid to get outside help if you need it.

(source: Mental Health America)

Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship:

Grief is a natural reaction to loss, and the breakup or divorce of a love relationship involves multiple losses: Loss of companionship and shared experiences (which may or may not have been consistently pleasurable) Loss of support, be it financial, intellectual, social, or emotional Loss of hopes, plans, and dreams (can be even more painful than practical losses) Allowing yourself to feel the pain of these losses may be scary. You may fear that your emotions will be too intense to bear, or that you’ll be stuck in a dark place forever. Just remember that grieving is essential to the healing process. The pain of grief is precisely what helps you let go of the old relationship and move on. And no matter how strong your grief, it won’t last forever.

Tips for grieving after a breakup:

Don’t fight your feelings – It’s normal to have lots of ups and downs, and feel many conflicting emotions, including anger, resentment, sadness, relief, fear, and confusion. It’s important to identify and acknowledge these feelings. While these emotions will often be painful, trying to suppress or ignore them will only prolong the grieving process.

Talk about how you’re feeling – Even if it is difficult for you to talk about your feelings with other people, it is very important to find a way to do so when you are grieving. Knowing that others are aware of your feelings will make you feel less alone with your pain and will help you heal. Journaling can also be a helpful outlet for your feelings.

Remember that moving on is the end goal – Expressing your feelings will liberate you in a way, but it is important not to dwell on the negative feelings or to over-analyze the situation. Getting stuck in hurtful feelings like blame, anger and resentment will rob you of valuable energy and prevent you from healing and moving forward. Remind yourself that you still have a future. When you commit to another person, you create many hopes and dreams. It’s hard to let these dreams go.

As you grieve the loss of the future you once envisioned, be encouraged by the fact that new hopes and dreams will eventually replace your old ones. Reach out to others for support through the grieving process Support from others is critical to healing after a breakup or divorce. You might feel like being alone, but isolating yourself will only make this time more difficult. Don’t try to get through this on your own. Reach out to trusted friends and family members. People who have been through painful breakups or divorces can be especially helpful. They know what it is like and they can assure you that there is hope for healing and new relationships. Spend time with people who support, value, and energize you. As you consider who to reach out to, choose wisely. Surround yourself with people who are positive and who truly listen to you. It’s important that you feel free to be honest about what you’re going through, without worrying about being judged, criticized, or told what to do. Get outside help if you need it. If reaching out to others doesn’t come naturally, consider seeing a counselor or joining a support group. The most important thing is that you have at least one place where you feel comfortable opening up. Cultivate new friendships. If you feel like you have lost your social network along with the divorce or breakup, make an effort to meet new people. Join a networking group or special interest club, take a class, get involved in community activities, or volunteer at your school, synagogue, or church.

Taking care of yourself after a relationship breakup

A breakup is a highly stressful, life-changing event. When you’re going through the emotional wringer and dealing with major life changes, it’s more important than ever to take care of yourself. The strain and upset of a major breakup leaves you psychologically and physically vulnerable. Treat yourself like you’re getting over the flu. Get plenty of rest, minimize other sources of stress in your life, and reduce your workload if possible.

Learning to take care of yourself can be one of the most valuable lessons you learn following a breakup. As you feel the emotions of your loss and begin learning from your experience, you can resolve to take better care of yourself and make positive choices going forward.

Self-care tips:

Make time each day to nurture yourself.

Help yourself heal by scheduling daily time for activities you find calming and soothing. Go for a walk in nature, listen to music, enjoy a hot bath, get a massage, read a favorite book, take a yoga class, or savor a warm cup of tea. Pay attention to what you need in any given moment and speak up to express your needs. Honor what you believe to be right and best for you even though it may be different from what your ex or others want. Say "no" without guilt or angst as a way of honoring what is right for you. Stick to a routine.

A relationship breakup can disrupt almost every area of your life, amplifying feelings of stress, uncertainty, and chaos. Getting back to a regular routine can provide a comforting sense of structure and normalcy. Take a time out. Try not to make any major decisions in the first few months after a separation, like starting a new job or moving to a new city. If you can, wait until you’re feeling less emotional so that you can make better decisions. Avoid using alcohol, drugs, or food to cope. When you’re in the middle of a breakup, you may be tempted to do anything to relieve your feelings of pain and loneliness. But using alcohol, drugs, or food as an escape is unhealthy and destructive in the long run. It’s essential to find healthier ways of coping with painful feelings. Explore new interests. A breakup is a beginning as well as an end. Take the opportunity to explore new interests and activities. Pursuing fun, new activities gives you a chance to enjoy life in the here-and-now, rather than dwelling on the past.

Learning important lessons from a divorce or breakup

In times of emotional crisis, there is an opportunity to grow and learn. Just because you are feeling emptiness in your life right now, doesn’t mean that nothing is happening or that things will never change. Consider this period a time-out, a time for sowing the seeds for new growth. You can emerge from this experience knowing yourself better and feeling stronger. In order to fully accept a breakup and move on, you need to understand what happened and acknowledging the part you played. It’s important to understand how the choices you made affected the relationship. Learning from your mistakes is the key to not repeating them. Some questions to ask yourself:

Step back and look at the big picture.

How did you contribute to the problems of the relationship?

Do you tend to repeat the same mistakes or choose the wrong person in relationship after relationship? Think about how you react stress and deal with conflict and insecurities. Could you act in a more constructive way?

Consider whether or not you accept other people the way they are, not the way they could or “should” be. Examine your negative feelings as a starting point for change. Are you in control of your feelings, or are they in control of you?

You’ll need to be honest with yourself during this part of the healing process. Try not to dwell on who is to blame or beat yourself up over your mistakes. As you look back on the relationship, you have an opportunity to learn more about yourself, how you relate to others, and the problems you need to work on. If you are able to objectively examine your own choices and behavior, including the reasons why you chose your former partner, you’ll be able to see where you went wrong and make better choices next time.

(This article is for my housemates named Gladys and Rose... I do hope they can find the love of their life... Rose, update your blog-adag.com)

There are more and more singles feeling the need to be in a successful relationship and they are going to great lengths to find that one person to share their life with. Even if that means asking for help or looking in other locations, such as an online dating service, or some of the other successful professional sites.

Here Are A Few Reasons Successful Matches Are Made With Online Sites

1. Using the experience of professional services from a matchmaking company will often take the pressure and stress out of going out, meeting strangers and trying to ask someone out.

This way all the hard leg work is done for you and its one less thing to worry about.

2. One of the quality dating sites will be able to analyze your personality and characteristics, ask a few questions find out what it is you are looking for, and match you up with others that are into the same things as you, and weed out those who would not be best matched for your style or personality.

3. When using an experienced professional matchmaking site you are going to have the chance to meet individuals outside of your normal social setting, and really get to broaden your social skills in the dating process.

Out of these three key factors you will also see yourself grow as an individual as you will have the opportunity to read about these different personality types, and see where it is you fall in the spectrum of things. Sometimes this gives a person a chance to take a step back and see what others see in you. Many times, singles choose to better themselves in areas that others may feel are your weaker areas, in turn you will get to see what kind of person it is you are best suited for, and in doing this, you can often see what kind of individual you are by those you keep in your social circle. Over the past years using am experienced professional dating service or website has become socially acceptable, and almost part of the usual norm. If you are someone that wants to ensure your dating companion likes you as a person rather than the title you hold, your financial status, or political standings, than using a dating site is often times a great way to filter information you are not ready to disclose. And with that many of these dating sites uphold their professionalism and do not release personal dating information.

This article goes to one of my house mate Remar Barcibal. I hope he will take time read this one... Peace Rem!

-Original Article by Allan Tan. (Sorry Allan your article is not Copyrighted so I took some of your ideas)

"It is better to have loft and lost than to never have loft at all." — Groucho Marx

Falling in love is a magical experience that happens between two people. So why do people fall in love? Professor Arthur Aron from State University of New York at Stonybrook has been exploring the dynamics of what happens when two people are falling in love:

Q: What motivates people to seek out love?

A: Our primary motivation as human beings is to expand the self and to increase our abilities and our effectiveness. One of the ways we accomplish this is through our relationships with other people. We have learned in our research that it is important to feel that you have the ability to be an effective person, especially in our relationships.

Q: How does this theory of self-expansion explain the process of falling in love?

A: Usually, we fall in love with a person that we find attractive and appropriate for us, but also someone who demonstrates that they are attracted to us. This creates a situation where a great opportunity is open to us for self-expansion. The fact that they are attracted to us offers a significant opportunity — when we perceive this, we feel a surge of exhilaration!

Q: Does it always work this way?

A: No, an interesting exception to this occurs if we feel badly about ourselves. The process gets thrown off if we can't believe that another persons finds us attractive — like the Groucho Marx joke where we don't want to belong to a club that would have us for a member. We tend to miss out on opportunities for falling in love if we don't feel good about ourselves.

Q: What conditions are best for meeting someone and falling in love?

A: When you meet someone under conditions that are highly arousing — a political demonstration, turbulence on a plane, a stimulating performance — a time when the body is stirred up and excited, we tend to experience attraction at a heightened level. This effect is well documented but the explanations for it are very controversial. I tend to believe that we come to associate the arousal of the situation with this person and our own self-expansion.

Q: When do we fall in love?

A: Contrary to what most people think, the statistics show that most people fall in love with someone that they have known for a while. People only report falling in love quickly about 1/3 to 40 percent of the time. Of course, this varies from culture to culture. Falling in love happens differently between cultures but it does occur in most cultures.

Q: How does our appearance factor into the equation of falling in love?

A: This is interesting; we have found that if you are very unattractive, it can hurt you a lot in forming romantic relationships. However, being attractive doesn't help that much.

Q: How do you explain that?

A: We have found that two important characteristics, kindness and intelligence, are extremely important in the process of falling in love. And attractiveness is not connected to these things. These two attributes are things that people learn about someone from knowing them over time. Intelligence is important in all aspects of life, especially in love. But kindness is the strongest indicator for a successful long-term relationship.

-ichiroushin 12/30/10